This is like a Shakespeare drama or something.
But without all the fancy old English!
Her Highness, The Spanxster: Yeah, that would be me. A little irreverent, a whole lot stubborn, with a good dose of funny.
BFF: The woman I met a few years ago through work who keeps me sane. She wears fake hair and likes to accidentally flash her neighbours. I love her nudist self to death.
Mr. Right: Mr. tall-dark-and-handsome. Except he's more blonde. With blue eyes. We met through an online dating site and had shaZOW chemistry right from the first date. Neither of us can remember the date of our first date (boy I'm saying 'date' a lot) so anniversaries are pretty much out. He's a few years my senior, has a 6-year old son, and an ex-nonwife that I can't help but dislike.
B: That one friend that we all have who's essentially my soul-mate. We've been close friends for almost 15 years and have loved each other through the good and the bad, the thin and the fat, the bushy and the manicured. I adore her 6-year old son and expect that one day he'll either be piloting space ships or building them.
L~: Mr. Right's six year old son. The little boy with the big eyes who leeches onto me like he's drowning in a storm and I'm the only buoy available. He's silly and loves to laugh, and he also has a very inappropriate relationship with TV and food. And he hearts Cars. The movie. I worry that he's developmentally delayed and try my best to be a voice for him and also help him as much as I'm able.
ex-nonwife: She who does not deserve bolded font or capitalization. Mr.
Right's ex (in common-law only) and the mother of their child.
Parentally ineffectual, likes being unemployed for months at a time, and
probably doesn't make up cool words like I do.